I once knew a bloke who lived in a shed on an allotment on Barra in the Hebrides. The council eventually rehoused him, and he didn't write a book about it. Well, you probably wouldn't have wanted to read it anyway.
That's how I feel about Monty Halls' Beachcomber Cottage, which recounts his experience of making a TV documentary by putting a roof on a derelict stone building in a West Coast Scottish bay and moving in to keep some sheep, pigs and chickens. He became a crofter for six months.
There is a lot of observational material about friends he makes during his stay, but the project seems artificial - full of hardship for the purpose of showing how hard the author is, rather than a tale of real survival.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if the film crew were staying in a comfortable hotel or luxurious Winnebagos.
As I travelled through the over-written text, I expected to read of Monty doing unnecessary stunts such as imbibing alcohol through a snorkel and spinning round on a broomstick before stumbling off disorientated through some previously chosen obstacle course.
My expectations came to fruition with a chapter about a game of shinty, and another about pulling a small boat on a trailer round the district while wearing an incongruous kilt and collecting money for charity, as well as his antics as a butcher.
There's no dramatic change of lifestyle, either. Don't confuse this book with Peter Mayle's A Year in Provence or J Maarten Troosts's The Sex Lives of Cannibals. Monty simply drives home to Bristol once his time is up. Neither, I'm afraid, is there much here about diving.
That said, if you are a fan of Monty's good looks and self-effacing humour (and judging by the numbers who turn up to see him at the Dive Shows, there are many of you), you'll enjoy his latest book.
John Bantin
Ebury Publishing, BBC Books
ISBN: 9781846076213
Softback, 286pp, £11.99
