IT'S A CRISP SUNDAY MORNING, and I'm in my drysuit, straddling a seal pup outside Wraysbury Dive Centre. I've got a towel over its head and my main task is to avoid getting bitten while keeping my legs tucked around its body so that it doesn't wriggle out backwards.
The official reason for the towel is to keep the animal calm. I suspect that it's also to spare the poor pup embarrassment.
It's all vaguely reminiscent of Michael Jackson's children with their heads hidden under a blanket. Except that this pup is a life-sized, life-weighted beanbag representation - probably just as well because, according to the British Divers Marine Life Rescue instructor, it would have had my hand off by now. Tricky beasts, these marine mammals.
Of course, a trapped, injured or stranded animal doesn't necessarily recognise an approaching human being as a rescuer.
And - as with any other rescue - your good intentions could actually make things worse, unless you understand what to do, how to do it and who to call.
This is precisely why any diver with enough compassion to want to help a marine mammal in distress should come on the BDMLR course.
THE DAY STARTS GENTLY, with an introduction to the work of BDMLR and information about marine mammals around the British Isles: where they are most commonly found, how to identify them, and a basic understanding of their biology/ physiology.
If you've ever wondered about the best places to dive with seals or encounter wild dolphins, this is the course for you! And you'll soon be able to impress your buddies with your ability to spot the difference between a harbour porpoise and a common dolphin.
It was a real privilege to hear from divers like Gavin Parsons, who have so much direct experience of marine mammal rescues and the real, practical issues and dilemmas posed by an injured or stranded animal.
Sentimentality is an indulgence. Any intervention made has to be in the best interests of the animal's welfare, and not because individual divers may want to try their best to save it.
The role of the marine mammal medic is to give first aid; making the animal comfortable, observing and gathering the right information, contacting the appropriate people and taking expert advice from a qualified vet about whether the animal is in a rescuable condition.
There is a very well-written handbook that comes with the course, to remind you of the procedures and what you've learned.
The really fun part of the day has to be the practical exercises. Along with your fellow course participants, you get to practise rescue techniques on realistic models of dolphins, whales and seal pups. There's plenty of team-working challenges, and a fair amount of wading about in cold water.
Bringing your own drysuit is a definite plus, although wetsuits can be provided on site if needed. And, of course, there are the seal-straddling exercises, which provide a lot of laughs and a very good work-out for your inner thighs.
It was while lifting and balancing a whale on a canvas sheet that I realised the significance of the kind of people who were on the course.
British diving, sadly, is still dominated by middle-aged men with beards and bellies. This course was dominated by young women in their 20s (and younger) - exactly the type of demographic that we most need to attract.
Perhaps if more diving clubs got involved in work with marine mammals and caring for the marine environment, we might become a more interesting proposition for a new generation of young divers.
While we're saving the whales, dolphins and seals, we may also be preserving the future of UK diving.
BDMLR is a charity. Its volunteers have proved time and time again the value of its work, and it is worth its weight in gold for the positive publicity it brings to British diving.
Becoming a marine mammal medic not only increases your skills and makes you a valuable resource for rescues, but the money raised by these courses helps BDMLR to thrive. It's far more than just a great day out.
Marine mammal medic courses are run regularly throughout the UK.
Louise Trewavas
British Divers Marine Life Rescue
www.bdmlr.org.uk,
01825 765546
Marine Mammal Medic,
one-day course, £90
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